Hey Dr. Love,
I’m a 21-year-old Humboldt State student. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for just more than nine months and not only am I in love, but I believe that I’ve found my soul mate. He is sweet, caring, kind and even my parents like him. However, he recently asked me to shave my beaver and I’ve been confused and taken aback ever since. Should I give in to his request? Or should I ignore this perverted demand?
— Confused in Arcata
Unfortunately, women across the country are asked to do this by their husbands and boyfriends all too often. Beavers may look cute and cuddly, but make no mistake, CIA: What your boyfriend asked you to do is not only dangerous, it may be illegal. Shaving these little beasts, or any wild animal for that matter, is a task for licensed veterinarians only. Furthermore, I’m tempted to turn you in to Fish and Game, as harboring beavers as pets is a criminal offense. Shame on you — you should know better!
Dr. Love,
I recently began seeing an older man, who I’ll call “Steve”, and I think he might be the one. Steve is divorced, but his children are grown and he has a great job. He’s handsome and has a great sense of humor. He seems like a good catch. So you have no idea how shocked I felt when he recently offered me a pearl necklace. He said he saw it once in a movie, which he then offered to show me on DVD. I felt like slapping him! But I have to say that, other than this one instance, Steve is a really great guy. Should I forgive him, or show him the door?
— Hurt in Humboldt
A: It’s time for a reality check, HIH: You said that for the most part Steve is a good guy, and good guys are mighty hard to find these days. You also mentioned that he has a good job, so I’m willing to bet that everything is on the up-and-up. Relationships don’t succeed without compromise, so I think you need to meet him halfway on this one. Here’s what I would recommend: Allow Steve to give you the necklace on the condition that you accompany him to the jewelry store. That way he won’t get off buying a cheap strand from Zales or, worse yet, a pawn shop. My advice would be to avoid estate jewelry, as pearls are sometimes not properly cared for by the previous owner. Finally, ensure that the clasp is in good working order, and not some knockoff crap from China. Steve will respect you for sticking up for yourself and he’ll get to give you that pearl necklace like he’s always wanted to.
Dear Dr. Love,
I have been married to “John” for just more than a year and, up until last night, we were living the dream marriage: long walks on the beach, candle-lit dinners and, not only that, but John gives a great massage. He’s also a great provider — he’s a doctor — which allows me to pursue scrapbooking and gardening to the fullest.Which makes my question to you all the more disturbing. Last night after dinner John suggested something so disgusting that it nearly had me running to the yellow pages for a divorce lawyer. I don’t even know if you can print this, but here goes: John wants to take me on a glass-bottom boat ride. True, John had a few glasses of wine in him when he told me this, but still — how disgusting is that? This is NOT the man I married! Should I divorce him?
— Disgusted in McKinleyville
Well, DIM, I can see your point. It must have come as quite a surprise that John was harboring this secret desire. But it sounds like you love him and that he’s putting a roof over your head, so I’m going to go out on a limb here and advise that you bite the bullet on this one and take him up on his offer. Glass-bottom boat rides are not for the faint of heart. You can expect to feel claustrophobic and may even experience some nausea and suffocation. You may also be confronted with foul odors. But don’t let that ruin the excitement of exploring the ocean’s beautiful depths! Take some Dramamine to counteract the effects of sea-sickness, dress appropriately and have F-U-N! Glass-bottom boat tours had their heyday in the 1960s, but several reputable travel agencies still offer them in Florida, Hawaii and — closer to home — Santa Catalina Island. Be sure to bring a good camera along so as to capture in vivid, living color that amazing world under the sea. Then tell John that because you were such a good sport, he owes you a Cleveland Steamer!
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